My Best Friend, My Lover, My Soulmate, My World.. This is Paul.
We have known each other for a while as we are neighbours, like I said on my previous blog there wasn’t really a connection at first. I guess it was my guardians angels way of saying that i had still had some more life lessons to learn and a few more frogs to kiss before I get to meet my prince and live happily ever after.
We started texting around February 2015, we got on like a house on fire, the banter was flowing and it wasn’t long until we went on our first date. We started spending alot of time together it was crazy how compatible we are. We have the same birthdays 3rd September but different years, so both our starsigns are Virgo, we both don’t have middle names and when we talked about where we lived before we had always been practically been neighbours without even knowing it. We love going on walks, exploring, we used to do steak night on a Tuesday (2 steaks and a bottle of wine for £25, bargain), we would go out for drinks in the sun, have horror film movie nights, visit wildlife parks whatever we did we just loved being together.
We made it official on 23rd March, notified the world of facebook we was in a relationship. I never expected to fall in love, I was just getting my life back on track from a former abusive relationship I had a lot of scars. I was always honest and open with Paul. I opened up to him about my mental health, my past and my traumas. Paul is completely different to any other guy I had known he was quiet, mature, respectful, chilled and no baggage or damage. He has done alot for me without even realising it. He brought me out of my shell, he gave me confidence and security. I never used to eat much in front of him especially not crisps or any food that made a noise as I had emotional abuse from a the previous relationship where I wasn’t aloud to make a single sound when I ate or drank if I did then previous partner would flip. I told Paul this and he gave me the confidence to eat making as much noise as I wanted. He would buy crisps, chewits etc anything hat you had to make a noise to eat. It really is the little things.
After becoming official we started visiting his family, nan and grandads is always a favourite, There i met his mum, sister and her son, his uncle john and wife. I get on well with all his family and most importantly they accepted me which meant everything to me, I’m always worried about what people think of me.
In May 2015 we went to buy some fish, well Paul did but I wanted to help pick them, I was moaning about something or other when Paul said to me you need to take a pregnancy test, I laughed and told him to stop being daft. We popped in to poundstretcher of all places to buy a pregnancy test, it was next to pets at home you see. We got some fish then went home Paul put the fish in the fish tank while I did the pregnancy test.
It was positive. Wow we was going to have a baby!
I sat on the sofa in silence, Paul asked if I was ok I was in shock I had not expected this, I was happy but flooded with racing thoughts, was I going to be a good mum? What if baby doesn’t have a heartbeat, what if it sends me wappy with my bi polar. I love this man so much I was scared I would lose him.
We went to Boots brought a clear blue test which confirmed I was pregnant by 3 months. The following day we got booked in to the doctors then shortly after booked in to the first scan. It felt like an agonising wait but scan day came I felt sick and scared. I looked up at monitor where the nurse showed us our little baby and most importantly to me his beating heart, wow there was a heart beat and look at that beautiful wiggly life we had both created. I new from that moment I would do everything for our baby growing inside of me. I was a mum and Paul was a dad I couldn’t think of anything more amazing. He came to every single scan and every single midwife appointment, always booking days off work so he come now thats dedication. Thats enough about baby now I’ll save that for my next blog back to me and Paul.
We spent a lovely summer together, meeting his family and friends and mine.
September came round mine and. Pauls birthday he had booked us a holiday in Windermere. Wow what a beautiful place. We was staying at a hotel called Beech hill over looking lake Windermere. We had a massive bed with ensuite jacuzzi bath and a little patio outside with a table and chairs. We used to sit out there on the evening looking at the beautiful sunset over the lake.
It was amazing. We visited Bowness, looked round the shops, went on a cruise which took us to an aquarium with a little cafe called ‘Oscars’ with a big handmade sign with the name Oscar on we already decided we liked the name Oscar for our baby this was confirmation if we was having a boy he would be called Oscar.
It was an amazing holiday
After we came back we had more days out, airshows paul is in to planes and I love sharing in his hobby.
We spent christmas at my foster families. Our first and last christmas together as a couple.
I love this man so much, my first normal, happy relationship he makes me feel on top of the world. He gave me a reason to carry on living, he gave me hope and trust that after a storm there Is always a rainbow. Paul is my rainbow and I can not wait to start family life with him.